Email Intercepted, Mr. Larmstrong

 Dirtbag friends, I have been slighted by the Texan in lyrca, the King of the Pyrenees, the Man in Yellow, Mr. Larmstrong yet again. My crack team of Dirtbag hackers has been working day and night and sometimes even midafternoon to intercept emails sent from his email address which contain the words, "Dirtbag," "awesomesauce," "fear," "toe jam," "Big Island," or "tapioca". And boy have they found a doozy. Check it out:

From: larmstrong@yellowbracelet.org
To: teamyellow@weheartlance.org
Re: Dirtbag On Big Island

Minions:
Word has reached me through my many channels that my archrival, Mr. Dirtbag, is on the Big Island for a supposed vacation. I think we all know that this is a cover story created to hide the fact that he knows I am currently in training on the Big Island and he is coming to scout me. We can not let this happen. I am unprepared to face him. It would be like tapioca pudding facing a speeding train full of awesomesauce which is also powered by awesomesauce. Your jobs are to be sure he never catches sight of me. Tail him and keep me informed. I can show no fear before we meet on the beach June 2nd. It will only embolden him further. 
Keep me informed.
- L.
PS- Toe jam.

Well, Mr. Larmstrong, your plan worked. I did not catch sight of you during my week scouting you on vacation. I knew you were around though. For one, you tweeted about it. I mean, come on, don't you know how social networking works? But the real reason I knew you were there was because I could detect the aroma of Texas-style BBQ. That's right, I could smell what you were cooking. Which means only one thing- another WWE-style response video: