Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Der Übernachtung schwimmer (The Night Swimmer)

Swim Day
distance- 0.6mi
time- 23:21

Yesterday was an experiment. Super Awesome Wife had a meeting in town after school so instead of doing a pool workout like I normally would have I packed my gear and went for a swim at Ala Moana beach park. But since her meeting didn't start until 5:45 we hung out at the mall for a bit before splitting off. This means that I didn't get into the ocean until 6-ish. Know what happens at 6-ish? Sunset! I knew that getting in and figured I'd be alright but I once again completely underestimated how quickly the sun sets. You'd think there was some kind of magical force pulling it beneath the horizon. I was good for one end of the beach, near Magic Island, all the way to the other side, but by the time I got there it was dark. No problem, I thought. I'm an experienced swimmer, a strong swimmer, a badass Dirtbag, The Tattooed Wake. I'll be fine. Yeah, not so much. As far as you, dear readers, know I got out because I got attacked my a massive sea monster which I killed with my goggles and cap. I did not get out because it was too dark to see the bottom and I was naviguessing by parking lot lights and I was doing my level best not to imagine previously mentioned sea monster. Still, it was a good swim until the sea monster attack. I'll need to get out there again when it will be lighter longer. Less attacks then, you see.
I also used this as my first opportunity to test out the waterproof features of my Garmin Forerunner 310xt. I know from other examples that if I leave the watch on my wrist I'll get a drunken mess of a GPS track and the proposed solution from others who have it is throwing the thing under your cap. But that's where I put my hair and I'm not bright enough yet to get both the hair and the watch under there at the same time comfortably. So I stuck it in my suit on my hip. It's gotta be towards the sky so it can see the satellites, but putting it over my butt didn't seem very comfortable. The hip, I thought, would be a good compromise. Seems to have worked too. The only odd thing about the data is my top speed. Somehow I got to 131mph. Which is great. And I probably don't remember going that fast because I  slammed into the far rock wall so hard I knocked my brains through my feet.


  1. If you click on your image link above it shows that you apparently managed to swim uphill. Which would of course explain the speed. I'm impressed.

  2. I did a lot of night swimming when I was a kid growing up on Molokai and surfed at night at beaches up and down the California coast several times. I haven't seen any sea monsters, but that Jaws theme song pops in my head every once in a while. LOL!!! I have a lot of time in the water, but unfortunately not competitive time, hence I am slow.

    Dude, I wouldn't worry. You are too fast for any sea monster. Besides, I heard that sea monsters are scared of tattoos.

  3. That's definitely the cleanest line I've seen from a Garmin on a swim. Well done on the placement. I also like the -4/33 foot elevation variance. Clearly you dove beneath the waves and then made a glorious leap towards the sky at some point. Just like a dolphin.

  4. EXCATLY like a dolphin. Which really bothered the two sharks I have tattooed on me. The one on my ribs was all, "WTF?" and the one on my shoulder went, "Yeah, what he said!" I wish they stop judging me. At least my tiki loves me.
    I'm guessing the line is so straight because either I aqua-navigate like a boss or it lost signal until I made the turn and then it picked up and drew the straightest line.

  5. Dude..don't pretend that tattoo on your shoulder isn't a dolphin. :-)

  6. 9 calories, huh? Most.Efficient.Swimmer.Ever.