The Stooges Trainer

Ride
Trainer set
10 minute warm-up
10 min hard/5 min easy for an hour

You want motivation?
Here.

That is Iggy Pop, for those of you not in the know. Iggy was born in 1947. This picture is maybe three year old. I will pause so you can do the math, then I want you to look at the man again. Yeah, I don't know how he does it.
Actually, that's not true. I have a pretty good guess.
He's insane. And he works harder on stage than any performer I've ever seen. We should step back so I can clarify. Yesterday was a trainer session and I've been using my laptop to watch whatever catches my eye while I'm working so that I don't want to slam my head repeatedly into the concrete out of boredom. I forgot that I had an Iggy and the Stooges DVD from 2004 called Live in Detroit so I decided to give that a spin. I am a big Stooges fan, but have never actually sat and watched the whole DVD. I guess I still haven't.
My trainer is not very quiet, and watching or listening to most things while really cranking requires some fill-in-the-blank on my part. I know the song, I can pretty much tell where in the song they are, but I can't hear everything going on. And, because I use my trainer out in the carport so Super Awesome Wife can nap after rough days teaching pre-k SPED kids, sometimes the sun is setting in a way that I can't really see what is going on. So this isn't a recommendation of Live in Detroit. Not because I didn't like it, but because I don't feel like I got enough of it to tell you to spend money on it.
I did get enough of it to tell you that if you like the punk rock, if you enjoy pure rock and roll, if a high energy madman older than your (my) dad writhing and breaking his ass to channel the music directly through his soul turns you on, you should be all about The Stooges and you should run out, or open a new window in your browser at least, and buy their stuff. Personally, Raw Power is my favorite album, but just go get you some.
Iggy live uses more energy in the first two songs than you used last week, including workouts. He doesn't perform so much as translate every note into pure energy. He's insane and I love it.
And it made me work hard. Best trainer session so far yesterday. I spent a lot of time concentrating on keeping my cadence between 90-100 RPMs, really spinning hard and fast. I can feel the clock ticking and while my run won't be great and my swim will only be acceptable, I think my bike is going to surprise me. If you can be surprised by a result you worked hard at for months.
Coming up later today- A Special Dirtbag Surprise! Woohoo! Stay tuned.

Slow Intensity

Swim
1 x 200- Warm-up
3 x 300
10 x 100
2 x 50- Sideline kick
2 x 100- 1, 2, 3, Swim
1 x 500
1 x 100
total- 3000yds

Ride
trainer session
1 hr

I think I missed nearly every time standard I set for myself during yesterday's swim. Might have made three of them. It just wasn't happening. I fought through and modified to give myself ten seconds rest after each effort. I really wanted to pump, but there was nothing to pump. It turned into a stack yardage swim, which I also need. The muscles don't fail by the end of the workout, the technique isn't falling apart too much, but it isn't fast. It's barely a cousin of fast. My biggest concern at the moment, something I noticed during the Lanikai swim, is a lack of core strength. It seems that whenever I take some time off or relax the swimming my core goes first. A swimmer needs a strong core because that helps keep the body straight and stable in the water. I can feel my middle sinking towards the pool bottom. That's not good. It'll come back with consistency.
As for the bike, Monday has become Trainer Day. It's a good way to grab some intensity in a controlled environment and do a more organized workout. Normally. Yesterday, just like my swim, I was having a hard time getting rolling with force. I was on the bike. I was pedaling. I was sweating. My heartrate was up. But there wasn't any Oomf! behind it. I was doing ten hard, five easy, repeat, and while there was a definite difference between the two is wasn't as marked as last Monday. I'm going to go ahead and say some of the lack of power is due to Sunday's ten mile run. Gotta figure that took something out of my legs. Wouldn't you think?
My entertainment for the duration was a 30 for 30 ESPN documentary called "The Birth of Big Air." It's about BMX rider Matt "The Condor" Hoffman and his quest to ride his bike up a giant ramp and then crash to earth like a stone. Basically, if you've ever watched the X-Games, this is the story who did the Mega Ramp, but he built it in his backyard and only rode it because he wanted to see if he could. Not for sponsors, television, or fame. I bought the special edition set of 30 for 30 and it is completely worth it. There are some very cool stories. Thus endeth the commercial.

Pumping Carbon Fiber

Swim
1 x 200- warm-up
5 x 100- odd laps left arm/even laps right arm
5 x 200- 100- 0, 1, 2, 3/100- hard
1 x 400- odd 50 easy/even 50 hard
1 x 100- cool down

Ride
1 hour trainer
10 min warm-up
10 min hard/5 min easy repeats


Monday was the last full on drill day I'm going to do. I'm not going to stop doing drills, but I'm starting to feel the Honu breathing down my neck and I need to get better at endurance and speed. So the majority of swims from here on out will be harder sets with less drill focus.
The one arm drill was an experiment since I haven't tried something like that since I was being coached. It's a good way to focus on what each side of the body is doing, getting the stroke to lengthen at the front, and getting a good rotation. I need to remember to make each stroke in this drill a separate effort, I'm not just spinning my arm in circles.
During the 400 I started getting weirdness in the right elbow. I hope this will go away, it happens every once in a while. I can fight through it for the Honu, but I'd rather not spend the next few weeks wondering and babying a different injury. Bad enough being unsure what my AT is going to feel like each run.
I noticed during the Lanikai swim that my core wasn't as solid as it ought to be either. Part of that is the conditions of the race, I couldn't get myself into a happy body position. But still, something else to be thinking about.
As I've written before, trainers are boring. I've tried podcasts, concert DVDs, and music to get me through. Yesterday I decided to go obvious- Pumping Iron. Yes, the 1977 documentary following Arnold through training and competing for his sixth Mr. Universe title. It is amazing. Sure, there are some slow parts where its five minutes of huge men lifting heavy things and grunting, but the insight one can glean into the mind of The Best Bodybuilder Ever is invaluable. Any time you can watch someone who is at the top of their game talk about what that means you should. The ideas transfer. His discussion of missing his dad's funeral because he was preparing for a competition, highlighting the killer mindset that made him the best, is very enlightening. And I would bet any other champion would watch that and nod knowingly. Plus, you can see James Cameron watching it and thinking, "This guy is my Terminator."
It being Arnold in the 70s, there are also some absolutely unintentionally hilarious moments. In the first scene after opening credits Arnold walks through Gold's Gym in Venice greeting the other bodybuilders. "Hey, Big Mike! Hey, Big Tony! Hey, Big Joe!" Seriously, either everyone's nickname is Big Their Name, or Arnold thinks he's funny. Either way, it's great. And the film ends with a triumphant Arnold laying on a couch wearing a shirt that reads, "Arnold is Numero Uno" and smoking a joint. Yes, friends, we have a documentary showing the former Governor of California feeling up models and smoking pot. How did he get elected? I guess we like being righteously indignant but we don't really care.
The main side story follows Lou Ferrigno, an up-and-coming bodybuilder, as he trains to topple the champ. You might know Lou better as the original Hulk from the old television show. No? He was on King of Queens too.

 I really enjoy the pose-off at the end of the film. Lou comes out and does his thing and you think, "Wow, that man is massive! Holy crap." You doubt Arnold can win. I mean, look at this guy! Then the one, the only, the Austrian Oak comes out. Ho-Ly-Hell. It's night and day. Arnold starts to go into a pose and you can't believe the size and definition. Then he actually flexes and BAM! You realize why he's the Greatest Of All Time. He's got this look on his face the whole time that says, "I can not be beaten." Everyone should watch, even if you don't care about bodybuilding as a sport. And I, honestly don't care anymore. The guys are freaks. But Arnold, he was the apex.

Drilling For Technique

Swim
1 x 200- warm-up
4 x 200- 100-0, 1, 2, 3/100- alt. fingertip drag/thumb drag*
5 x 100- 5, 7, 9
1 x 500- 7:39
1 x 100- cool down
total- 2100yds
*1 & 3- thumb drag/ 2 & 4- fingertip drag

Bike
Trainer- 1hr

 Drill, baby, drill! Oh, Sarah, if only this is what you meant when you brainlessly chant at hordes. I would have so much (read: any) respect for you. I'm all about preaching technique over speed in the water and I'm trying damn hard to practice that. My swim numbers have dropped like the Marianas Trench in recent weeks and I'm trying to fix that. Like I've said many times, the swim is my lowest priority discipline in my coming triathlons, which means I'm comfortable losing workouts there. But I think that mindset has let me miss workouts without guilt, and guilt is sometimes a decent motivator. I would never say that guilt is GOOD, but it can help. So I've made a decision- to help myself get enough rest I'm going to drop my Tuesday morning swim completely. I'll be swimming Monday and Thursday only. That little extra Tuesday rest should translate into better runs Tuesday. And even though I sell myself sometimes as Joe SwimmerGuy, I still need to do stroke work like anyone else.
Yesterday afternoon I cranked an hour on the trainer listening to Bill Simmons on the BS Report already panic about the Red Sox starting 0-3. Listening to guys complain about their baseball teams might not seem like the most gung-ho go get 'em trainer motivation, but it makes the time pass easier. Simmons is one of my favorite sports writers and while I don't care about the Sox and I hate the Yankees, I'm just happy he isn't talking about basketball. If you're interested, President Obama did a short BS Report at the beginning of March that is very good. Look at that, two political things in one post. Guess the cat's out of the bag!
Speaking of baseball- GO DODGERS!

Blargy Blargy Blargy

Swim
1 x 200- Warm-up
6 x 100- 1, 2, 3, Swim
5 x 50- Sideline kick
1 x 500- alternate 50 easy/50 hard
4 x 200- 100 5, 7, 9/100 Swim
1 x 100- Cool down

Bike
60 minutes trainer

I'm going to keep this short so as to avoid spewing negativity all over the interwebs. We all know there's enough of that as it is. The swim was a stroke-focused, low motivation affair. I didn't really push anything, except for the alternating intensity 500 and the 200s set bored me to death for some reason. It's been that kind of week.
One thing that I didn't mention from Monday's swim that I should of was that it was pouring POURING when I went. My pool is outdoors. I shower before I swim because I need to get my flowing locks wet so they go easily into my cap. Also, that way the hair is full of water before I submerge in chlorine, so my hair sucks up less blonde-making poison. The pool shower is outside next to the pool. So what this means is I was standing in the pouring rain, under a running shower. And yes, one does feel like a bit of an ass at that moment.
I wasn't sure of the weather for my ride, it has still been really unpredictable. I don't mind getting caught in some rain, but what we have been getting hardly counts as some rain. It counts more as Pound-fulls of cats and dogs, big, fat, screaming felines and canines dropping from the sky, reducing visibility to almost the edge of your hood. And I didn't want to get caught in that, the sky was foreboding. So I set up the trainer, popped in a Henry Rollins spoken word DVD, and cranked out a pretty slow, grinding hour. I didn't do a set, even though I know I should have. There is something about the trainer that messes with my head.
As for my Achilles, it is feeling ok but not great. Pretty sure the right one was feeling left out because now it is starting to act up. I'm doing ice and ibuprofen and roller. I'm putting on the Rock Tape today before my run. I have the Hapalua half marathon Sunday and then Super Awesome Wife and I are flying to Big Island for our two year anniversary, so that will be a real recovery week (unlike last week's I'm Sick Leave Me Alone complainathon.)
I think my poor attitude right now is because Spring Break at school starts today and I've been feeling the grind, plus the injury is annoying, plus last week screwed up my rhythm, wah wah wah. A week away is just what Dirtbag needs.
Much thanks again to Sister Dirtbag, Official Trainer of Team Dirtbag, for sending supplies and for responding to Hypochondriac texts all day.

Better Than Nothing

Ride
60minute Trainer Session

1) I can't take a nap and then get on the trainer.
2) I hated the trainer today, and it hated me right back.

I was feeling good when I left school today. I knew knew I was going to have a good workout when I got home. Then one thing lead to another and I ended up crashing out for 30 (20? 15? 45?) minutes. Whoops. There's nothing harder for me than stopping moving and then getting going again. My normal M.O. is get home, quick change, and back out the door. If my ass hits the couch my energy level plummets and soon its all I can do to reach the remote.

So it was wake up from nap, sit on couch, decide I'm going to rest today then make it up on Friday, then realize I like have Friday completely free of workouts, then call myself a wuss, then stew for a minute, then set up the trainer outside (Super Awesome Wife was still napping and my trainer is the opposite of quiet) and set to work. Oh yeah, and I brought the laptop out with me and threw in the Big 4 DVD on Megadeth.  
Well, with the laptop speakers and media player turned all the way up, while I was pedaling I could hear just enough of the music to kind of figure out what song was playing. Good thing I know the songs and can read lips. And then the battery died. This did not help my cause.
I was planning 90 minutes. Needed a good 90. At 30 I wanted to get off and I swear the only thing that kept me on the trainer was thinking about writing this blog and having to write, "30 minutes." That's right, Dirtbag friends, you all shamed me into sticking it out a little longer. But it was quickly obvious I wasn't making 90. Oh, I probably could have, but it would have degenerated into hate-riding. Chugging away at some ridiculously low cadence simply to get in time on the bike. And that sucks when you're out on the road, let alone on the treadmill of the bike world.
I had a workout planned. 15 minute warm-up, then 15 hard, 15 cool, 15 hard, repeat. It wasn't happening. I got some done, I got 60, which is better than 30 and way better than sitting on my ass, but I ain't happy about it.

One Of Those Days (OR Wherein I Do a 9 Minute 500 And Fall Off My Trainer)

Swim Day

1 x 200- Warm-up

5 x 100- 1, 2, 3, Swim
5 x 200- 3:00
1 x 500- 9:00

Bike Day- Trainer
3 x 15min w/ 5min rest

Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day workout-wise. And I wish I could move to Australia.
This morning's swim started out alright. I had planned for the 5 x 100 set to be a breath drill (5, 7, 9) but at the last minute decided I could use some practice getting a feel for the water so I switched it up. Good call, that. And the 200s set went rather well too, up until the last one. I can't understand why I'm not making all of these on the 3:00. I should be. And then the 500 happened. I must have floated away. I was nowhere near my head. This 500 was the walking version of swimming. 9:00. 9:00! Nine Freaking Minutes! What the hell was I doing, stopping for a snack each lap? Did I take a nap? Whatever.
And the weather is less than stellar (read: raining canines and felines) so it was another trainer session for the Dirtbag. I loaded the bike on, tightened everything down, through of the Big 4 dvd again, this time with Anthrax cued up, and got on it. The initial plan was to do 90 minutes.
The initial plan was wrong.
The first set of 5/15/5 went well. DSQ was high, sweat was pouring, muscles were working. Then a mystery happened. Here's what I remember:
At 33:15 I was riding hard, head down, listening to Indians.
At 33:17 I was sideways on my living room floor, still half clipped in, watching my wife's mug shatter as it fell off the giant Tupperwear storage thing which doubles as our coffee table.
So I had to get Sherlockian on it (BBC Sherlock, not RDJ Sherlock. Difference? No fistfights and actual, you know, detective work). Let me think...I was there, and now I am here. Hmmmmm....there...here. Oh, a clue! My back tire is no longer locked in to the trainer! Ahhh, I see. I must have wiggled or cranked or something, wrenching the bike off the trainer and, therefor, allowing gravity to be the nasty bitch she is. Elementary, my dear Dirtbag. What the hell? I swear it was all tight and good. There was no lateral movement.
So, like any hardcore Dirtbag would do, I cleaned up my mess, set the bike back up, cranked that bad boy down tight as a *inappropriate joke about a nun here*, and got back to it.
Sort of.
You see, now I feel like I'm listing slightly right all the time. So much time is spent thinking, "Am I leaning again? I think I'm leaning. No, it's ok. Waitaminute! No, no I'm fine." Every single subtle shift became a precursor to The Fall 2: The Sequel. So I cut my ride 30 minutes short. And initially I felt fine. No injuries. But in the shower I discovered small lacerations on the back of my calves from the teeth of my big ring. Thank you for pointing that out, jets of hot water. I owe you. And, as I sit here, my right knee feels a little sore. Some overreacting, hypochondriatic ice may be in order after dinner.

Oh yeah, one more thing: When I fell, I landed on my laptop which was also on top of the giant Tupperwear-cum-coffee table. And I cracked the crap out of the screen with the most powerful move in sports entertainment, The People's Elbow.

So at least it was old and we wanted a new one eventually anyway, right?