Honoulu Tri '13 Race Report

Here we are, my last and final triathlon in Hawaii. Also, the only race I've done three times as a solo. Also, the worst run I've ever had during a race (save maybe 2011's Ko'Olina Sprint). But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I registered for Honolulu ages ago, back when the early registration price was still reasonable. I figured I needed to do it, even if I wasn't trained up. This was before Dirtbag Baby was born, so I didn't yet realize how much my training was about to be impacted. Which was a lot.
I barely trained for this race. Barely barely barely. I hadn't really been in the water. I'd done a few rides over 25 miles, but not much over and not often. I hadn't run further than 3.5 miles since probably the Honu. I was not ready. If you went back and told 2011 me how I was preparing for this race he'd have freaked out. I was training like crazy back then. Not so much.
That meant mentally I was in a completely different place come Sunday morning. I talked about this in my last two race reports- I felt no pressure to perform at all. I was putting no expectations on myself other than finish the race and try to enjoy it. I knew it was going to hurt. I also knew that as far as courses go it is pretty easy. The swim is in a protected lagoon (basically, it's not really a lagoon). The ride is as flat as you can ask for, and not in a typically windy part of the island. The run is even flatter than that, and there is pretty decent shade. I can get through this on minimum training as long as I do it right. The big question was how long would it take for that lack of preparedness to catch up to me? Hopefully not until the run, because if I bonked on the bike I'd be miserable.
Dirtbag Mom was on island to visit with us and (mostly) Dirtbag Baby, so she drove us down to Ala Moana park Sunday morning, dark and early. Tiny human was so good the whole day. It was crazy early for all of us and we weren't sure how he would react to getting up and going in the car like that but he was great. Slept, no fussing, just a good boy.

I was feeling good, found Diesel and The Grey prior to the start, so we got to chat a little. Nice to have friends at the race with you. The Grey was complaining about his Achilles tendon, saying he'd probably have to walk the course so he didn't injure himself before the Honu. And Diesel was at the tail end of a cold that had knocked him on his ass all week. We were a couple of right strong triathletes, us. 
There were technical difficulties before the off, so we didn't get to hear the national anthem or Hawai'i Pono'i, the Hawaii state song, and I thought that was a bummer. I'm not a big fan of nationalistic chest thumping, but those songs start big events. They just do. We did get thirty seconds of silence for Boston, which I liked. And which was almost observed in silence, but not quite. Not quite because, well..ok, let's do this now.
The Honolulu Triathlon has become quite the travel race for Japanese triathletes. More and more visitors come every year to compete with us. Probably because the course is beautiful. Probably because they like coming to Hawaii anyway. Probably because they get some kind of deal- there are entire sections of the race staging area set up specifically for Japanese athletes. And I have no problem with Japanese athletes, I don't. I have a problem with the race becoming geared away from the people who live in Hawaii and towards the people who fly in for the race. This isn't a complaint about having everything translated into Japanese- I don't care. I really don't. America doesn't have a national language and I want everyone to know what's going on. But I no longer feel catered to when it comes to the Honololo Triathlon. I'm not the target athlete, but I'm the one who lives here. I'm the one here doing every other event the race director puts on. So when Japanese athletes do a cheer during the thirty seconds of silence for Boston I'm a little irritated. Don't believe me that the race is becoming more focused on Japanese imports than locals? Here is the race shirt from this year-

See? Look closer.

 Really look at it.

If you've ever ever been somewhere surrounded by tourists from that little island nation you know light blue and pink (PINK!?! ON BLUE?!? WITH YELLOW!?! WTF?) is their jam. It's the ugliest race shirt I have.
Anyway, there are a lot of Japanese racers here. They race differently than American racers do. They bunch. A swim start is always a washing machine mosh pit of bodies, and I like fighting through that and finding open water. But the numbers of guys in my wave made that very difficult. Not to mention (ok, this and one more complaint about Japanese athletes- I hope I don't sound racist because that's not it) they all wore their wetsuits. Now, according to USAT rules the water temperature was a wetsuit legal 77*. Except there was no way the water was that cold. I think the race director fudged the numbers because all those paying customers flew their wetsuits all the way to Hawaii and he didn't want to tell them to take 'em off or be ineligible for medals (not that we got medals, ohh I have so much to complain about I guess. Quick version in this tangent within a tangent- The Race Director, who nobody likes, has decided the event is going green. That means no awards for anyone but the overall winners. If you won your age group he will email you your certificate and personalized picture. Yeah, fucking digital awards for a race you paid nearly $200 to register for. Fuck that guy.). Anyway, wetsuits make crappy swimmers better because they float. That means crappy swimmers get in the way more.
I seeded myself near the front of my wave on the beach, mostly because I didn't want to get stuck behind too many people. Fidget, wiggle, shake, check goggles for the 12th time, wait- GO! The elite wave got a gun. We got a guy yelling at us. Whatever.
And I immediately got converged upon. This mass start was much more full than I remember from the last two years. Maybe because the last two years I was more confident in my swim so I charged harder right away. Either way, lots of bodies dropping to swim right in front of me, then standing back up, then dropping again. In my way. Come on, fellas, get on with it. There was probably 75 yards of this foolishness before we actually were able to get under-weigh.
It took longer than normal to find open water, and I spent quite a lot of the swim out right next to a dude who liked me a bunch. He didn't swim straight, so we kept bumping into each other. There's a difference between drafting and actually sitting on someone's hip, but he didn't know that. We were friends.
I chilled the swim out for the most part, concentrating on keeping a strong, steady, smooth stroke. Not spending too much energy, just get it done. Keep the heart rate under control and swim straight. The turn-around came quicker than I expected and I was feeling good. But I had forgotten about salt water chafing. Oh, the chafing. Right in the armpits it grinds and grinds, making the skin there raw. I normally put some type of Body Glide on my skin to prevent that, but had forgotten because it had been too long since I'd done a long swim. My bad. That stuff hurts, man. I couldn't wait to be done with the swim, not because I was tired but because I was raw.
Hit the beach and cruised to T1. I'm not in a hurry, I will take my time. No stress. Didn't see Wife, Mom, and Baby on my way up the beach  but that didn't mean they weren't there. The Grey and Diesel were in a wave way behind my own, so they hadn't been through transition either. I wondered if I would see them on the bike or not until the run. Expected Diesel on the bike. Changed, trotted out to the line, mounted and got to the going.

Even cruising the swim I was still pretty fast. You can do a lot with good technique, and I do.
The ride was smooth sailing. Because I was slightly slower on my swim than normal I was out on the road with a few more people. Last year and the year before I didn't have any friends for a while. I was out of T1 this year with two or three other guys, who left me in the dust pretty quick.
I had no illusions about how badly under-trained I was for the bike, so I was determined not to go crazy. Got down in aero, tucked in, and found my rhythm. I did pass one or two guys and played leap frog too, but mostly it was pass pass pass the Dirtbag. Still, I felt surprisingly strong out on the road. I knew I didn't have any sudden speed in my legs, there would be no sprinting, but I had a constant strength. Smooth and steady, that's the way to do it. Felt completely different from last year, when I had a great big distance engine. But it would do.
Since I'm all about complaining it seems like, here's another one- Where were the course marshals stopping the drafting and group riding? Our races are non-drafting events, meaning you need x number of bike lengths between you and the guy ahead of you. If you're passing then pass and the person passed has gotta drop back. There shouldn't be a massive peloton. There shouldn't be a line of three guys drafting off each other like they do on training rides. There was so much of that going on. I passed massive groups of riders clumped together. At the risk of sounding whatever, the biggest clumps were the Japanese riders, taking up the entire road and making passing impossible. No race awareness at all. No consideration for the athletes around them. Where was the people zipping around on motorcycles who are supposed to flag and fix that? Totally and completely frustrating.

 The one part of the course that normally gives me trouble, the out-and-back on Lagoon Dr. wasn't a problem. It wasn't any fun either. You see, normally there's a strong tailwind on the out and a strong headwind on the back. I was looking forward to the tailwind. You hit Lagoon around mile 19 and by then I was ready for a little natural boost. Twas not to be. On the plus side, that meant no headwind.
Pulled my feet out of my shoes for my amateur take on the flying squirrel dismount the super-fast guys use and rolled into T2 feeling ok. I knew there was pain ahead. I could feel it in the legs. I took my time in transition, got set, tried to get a but more water in me (thought I'd hydrated well on the bike, but it never hurts and the sun was hotting up).

The last time I looked happy on the run (15 meters in)

 The run fell apart pretty damn quick. I knew two steps in that it was going to be bad. How bad I wasn't sure, but bad.
It was worse.
It occurred to me not long into the 10k that I hadn't run more than 3.5mi since...oh probably the Honu last year. Crap. Swimming is easy. Cycling isn't hard, not on the flats (I'd have died if there were any significant climbs on the ride). But running, for yours truly, that's brutal in the best of situations.
I walked. I walked so much. I bonked like nobodies business. It was the hurt. I hadn't fueled well the morning of the race and I hadn't used my brain and bought some Gu before race day for during the race. What I had done was found a Hammer Gel from last year and stashed it in my back pocket in case I needed it. But I didn't know if those things go bad. What would they do? By mile 3 I didn't care. I needed calories. I took the Hammer. It was kind of gross. Still prefer Gu. I walked all of mile 3, waiting to see what the tummy made of the gel. Would I feel better or feel sick? Better, it turned out. Well enough to trot more than I walked for the last two miles. But I was miserable in the middle there. It was swiftly becoming a hot, windless day. Probably the worst run leg I've ever had. Lots of walking. Lots of fighting the negative. It didn't help that the run course is pretty dumbly laid-out. Lots of loops and turns and double-backs because the race director is too cheap to reserve the park next to Ala Moana as well, so it's a mess.
The Grey met me for the last quarter mile, having finished well ahead of me (and having run most of the race, contrary to what he said he was going to do). Actually, he and Diesel didn't catch me until the run, which was cool. They started with the old guys, waves and waves behind me, but still. We trotted to the finish line together, then he peeled off and I got to do something I've been waiting to do for five months.

The Grey, mocking me into the finish

 I took my son from his mom and held him in my sweaty, stinky, gross arms and ran through the finish.

Pretty much the coolest way to finish a race ever

 When they handed me my finisher medal (plate) I had them put it around the boy's neck. That was a pretty cool moment. Tiny human's first triathlon finish.

After the race the boys, my mom, and Super Awesome Wife hung out in the shade for a while. We rinsed off in the ocean, getting the sweat clear. And we watched the millions of tourist triathletes roam.
Final race thoughts-
Swim- 27:22
T1- 1:50
Bike- 1:15.07
T2- 2:07
Run- 1:18.36
Total- 3:05.20 
My splits, aside from my run, weren't that far off last year's. I didn't get a ton slower by not training like a crazy person. I did lose a lot of the confidence I'd gone into the previous races with. I didn't ever feel strong. I don't like racing like that and I need to fix it.
I am very disappointed in what the Honolulu Triathlon has turned in to. The digital awards, the massive medals, the hideous shirts, the overly fancy number tattoos, the blocked up and over-crowded bike course, the ridiculous run course, the lack of Hawaii Pono'i or the National Anthem, it's just not a fun environment to race in any more. And the parking. For a price you can get cherry parking, something I like taking advantage of. The website said passes were $10. Diesel picked one up for himself and one for me. They charged him $15, said there had been a change. Later we found out they cut the price back down to $10 the next day. I don't know what's up with that, but it smells fishy. No announcements were made about, "Hey, if you over-paid for parking we'd like to refund you your five buck." Just screw you, sucker. I don't think I would do it again next year. Which is too bad, because it's the only Olympic-distance race on the island. I'm not a fan of the Race Director, who's other race is the Ko'Olina Sprint, another poorly organized and over-priced event. I'm sorry this report focused so much on the negative, I don't like to do that and it isn't what this blog is about, but that's the taste that the whole race experience left in my mouth. I'm finally finishing this race report weeks after I crossed the line and I'm still put off by the whole thing. I know it's not just me, at least The Grey and Diesel feel the same.
We are moving to the mainland at the end of this month, where I'm looking forward to new races and new challenges. I want to thank thank thank Background Profiles for their incredible continued support. 

Fear of the Fat Dad- Dirtbag Parent Series

There was a swim and a run this week, but that is all. Neither were great, the run wasn't bad but I'm worried my leg problem from before is showing back up, which is strange because I've been doing so little to irritate it. Anyway, on to the post.

Dirtbag Fetus (aka Joe Batman)

Super Awesome Wife is just over six months pregnant with Dirtbag Fetus. The baby, and no we don't know if it's a boy or girl, is due in mid-December. At which point I everything in my life will change.
I'm more excited about becoming a father than I can express. I can't wait to hold the little bundle of Dirtbag Dough in my arms. I think about it a lot. My sister just recently had a baby, so I've been getting first-hand accounts of the life changes that are happening. It's one thing to have your parents tell you, "You just wait. EVERYTHING changes when you have a baby." It is another to have it happen in your peer group. And that is where my peer group is now. The wave of weddings has passed and we are now mid-set in the first wave of babies, bobbing in the waves, waiting for our ride.
Saying that you are ready for the change and actually being ready are two different things, though, and I recognize that too. I am well aware that things are about to happen to my life which I can only pretend at being prepared for. But (and be ready for a Circe du Sole-type sentence) knowing that there are things that I can't know helps me feel comfortable in my unknowing because I'm ready for the unknown. I'm mentally prepared to be flexible. I'm warming up for being upended.
And I have a slightly vain worry in all this.
I don't want to become a Fat Dad.
You've seen them. You might even know them. Dude was healthy and strong and then the baby came and his sleep schedule was wrecked and all that free time he spent working out became baby time. I want to be clear, I see these things as good and right. If I tried working out as much as I do now after December 11th-ish (due date is 12/11, so we'll see) it would be a toss up if Super Awesome Wife would kill me or divorce me first. And she would be right for doing so.
I am all about getting in there as dad and doing my job. She wants to be a stay-at-home mom, which means by the time I get home from teaching everyday Momma's gonna need a nap and a baby break and I'm getting tagged in. There goes those after after school runs and rides. She wants to breast feed, so while I'm not going to be directly responsible for those 3am feedings I don't expect for a second to be sleeping through them. I'm not getting up for a 5am pre-school swim after that. On top of that I'm going to want to spend as much time with Joe Batman (our placeholder in utero name for Dirtbag Fetus). When I weigh Three Hour Ride against Chill on the Floor With Baby baby is going to win every time.

Joe Batman vs The Burrito

 So how am I going to avoid Fat Dadness? Well, we are buying (read: we have put on our registry) a BOB Revolution Running Stroller, so that is going to be helpful. I will eventually get a bike trailer so I can bring the baby along on shorter rides. And Super Awesome Wife knows that working out is an integral part of maintaining sanity for me, so it's not like she's going expect me to put the kibosh on it completely. 
I've also taken advantage of the early registration rate for the Honolulu Triathlon, so I have a race on my calendar. That will help me get out of the house and stay active. I'll have Dad Adjusted expectations for the race, seeing as two-a-day trainings and the like will probably be out.
Tied in to all of this is that both of us want our children to grow up in an active household. We want the kids to know fitness from the get go. There is a whole other post in this little paragraph. 
The bottom line is I want to stay fit, I want to improve myself, and I want to be an excellent, involved dad. I know doing all those things is possible, I just don't know how it's going to come together yet. The next step of my fitness adventure is a big blind one, and I'm totally looking forward to it.

First Family Beach Picture

Honolulu Olympic Tri '12 Race Report

Honolulu Olympic Tri Race Report

Swim- 1500yds - 25:15
T1- 2:11
Bike- 40km- 1:12.24
T2- 2:08
Run- 10km- 56:49
Total Time- 2:38.45

I have mixed feelings about this race, so rather than dive straight into the report, I feel I should go over an idea that I've had recently. Maybe you should grab a snack, dear reader, I honestly have no idea how long we will be here.
You may remember me mentioning that a week ago during my long run I had foot fail. Self- and friend-diagnosed as sesamoiditis, it pretty much kept me off my feet all week. No running for me. And I had no idea how it was going to feel during today's race. It didn't act up until mile seven last Sunday, so would I be able to get away with a 10k? Would I start limping halfway through the run? Would I not even be able to run through transitions? I had no idea, and I wasn't willing to test it before today in case I aggravated it. And then Thursday I woke up feeling kind of fuzzy. By Friday after my swim the fuzzy morphed a pretty solid head cold. You know when you wake up and your throat is killing you because you've been dripping what seems to be acid into it all night? Yeah, all kinds of that going on since Friday.
These sound like excuses, and right now they still feel like excuses. And don't worry, I've got one or two more up my sleeve, but they don't play into this particular point. The point I'm trying to make right now is that for the last week the outcome of this race has been very hazy. Injured and sick is not how you want to go into something, and is definitely not the making of a PR. So I had to reevaluate. What were my goals? Well, the big goal is to keep in mind that this year the Honolulu Triathlon is NOT the Big Goal. That comes in two weeks. So that means if my foot hurts, I'm walking. This is a B-race. It should be hard, it should hurt, but it should also be fun. I mulled this for a while before reaching my Big Goal for this race:
Finish Proud.
I feel like this idea should get its own post, so I'm not going to go too deeply into it now, but the basic version is I didn't know if I was going to be able to Finish Hard, which is what I'd like. So I figured as long as I Finshed Proud, proud of myself, feeling like I poured what I had into the race, then I would call it a win. And I do think I did that.
Now, before we get to the race report proper I have two more excuses/reasons I was seven minutes slower this year than last year. Ready?
1) Last year this was my A Race. Everything I did for three and a half months was focused on this race. This year it's the B Race. I thought about it, but my training was never specific for it. It was never in my head as The Race. That has an effect.
2) I didn't taper at all. Sure, I barely worked out this week, but that was because I was sick, not because I was resting up for the race. So while I wasn't worn out before it, I also wasn't really rested up.
Enough excuse-making! On to the race report!
I did not warm-up the swim. My reason is simple- the line to the Port-a-Potty's was really long. I seriously went from there, kissed the Super Awesome Wife, and made it to the starting corral as the Elite wave was taking off.

Not warming up is not something I recommend. However, 1500yds gives my plenty of time to warm up. I don't like it, I want to shake those bugs out before I'm in the mass start mosh pit, but whatever. It was what it is. Last time I raced, during the Lanikai, my stroke never evened out. It felt choppy and broken the whole time. This time I felt much better, smoother. Not the whole swim, but I had good 100 yard chunks where my body position got right and everything felt smooth. The masses make for an interesting first 200 yards or so, but in a wave start you get spread out rather nicely after not too long. Especially in a long out-and-back course like this one. I had clear water for the majority of the swim, which is how I like it. Obviously. No one likes doing 25 minutes of swimming with some dumbass crawling up their legs. And this is where I start blaming being sick on my time. My perceived effort on the swim was high. I thought I worked hard and had a nice fast swim. My actual time was fairly slow. A 25 minute swim means I was doing 1:44/100s. Not so hot for me. But if you had asked I would have guessed at 1:35 split averages.
Two other swim notes- I chafed a little under my arms because of my tri top, something that I should have thought about because it happened during the North Shore swims. I need to remember to though some Glide on before the Honu, because that will be no fun. Also, I want you to check out the awesome Garmin data I got for the swim. I wore it on my wrist, and I knew that would give me a goofy read, but I just wanted it for time and so I didn't have to deal with putting it on in transition. But seriously, that map is fantastic. It thinks I swam two and a quarter miles in 25 minutes. I was FLYING!
Up the beach and into the parking lot and this was the first time I glimpsed how my foot might hold up. Actually felt good. No pain. Oh good. Transition to the bike went fast. No problems. Grabbed a Gu and tucked it into my tri short leg. Handy carrying place, that. Away I went.

Smiling! That's a good thing.

Smiling again! This is good.

WOOSH!

The bike is the other place where my perceived effort does not match my data. I felt like I was cranking for most of the ride. Really putting in down and going for it. And for some of the ride I was. Check out the speed spike in the data near the front of the ride. That is when I was bombing down Lagoon Drive. Out is with the wind, back is into it, so I figured I would take advantage and really hammer while I was getting help from Mr. Aeolus. Felt good, made some passes, it was good. And even coming back was pretty decent. Sure, I dropped huge in speed but last year during that section I started hating life. This year I was merely hurting.
After that we went out to the Arizona Memorial, which is our turn-around. There are a few not-very-significant climbs along the way that I feel like I powered up and over. Again, the data doesn't really back up Dirtbag FantasyLand. I'm beginning to think I did the first two events in my own personal Dreamatorium*. As we were heading back I popped the Gu I had in my short for a little extra energy during the mystery run. We got sprinkled on a little bit while we were out on the course and I hoped that would continue on the run. Running in rain is awesome and fast. No such luck.
A big difference from last year's bike, and nearly every bike I've done, and a reason I felt like I was having a good ride, was that I mixed it up with other riders a lot this year. There was much passing and overtaking rather than just being overtaken. Oh, that did happen. A lot. And when some of these fellas with their disc wheels and super aero bikes fly by you wonder how the hell they could be going so fast. But I got to play leapfrog with one dude in full kit and compression socks for a good seven miles, and tracked another guy for pretty much the whole ride. Riding with others and feeling like you're really racing them makes triathlon more fun.
T2 went well if not particularly quick. I should be out of there in under a minute, for sure under two, so 2:11 is kind of slow. However, let's revisit this "2:11 is a slow T2" statement after the Honu, when I take five minutes or more. My only big happy take away from T2 is I slipped my feet out of my shoes coming into the parking lot which meant all I had to do was hop off and run barefoot with my bike shoes still clipped in. Way faster, and hey, I get to run barefoot! Bonus.
As I've said only about 400 times so far, I had no idea how my foot was going to hold up. So imagine my surprise when I came out of T2 running strong and solid. My pace was high, nothing hurt, I was feeling great. Good kick, high cadence, no bike fatigue. Ok, let's go. Remember, up until now I had been feeling great and was sure I was on pace for a stellar race. Then The Sick caught up with me. Took a while, but the sun was high in the sky, temperatures were rising, and I started feeling kinda crappy. If you check out the data for this leg of the race, watch as my pace crashes. I shouldn't be shocked, I haven't done any speed work at all, all my running has been focused on building the strongest endurance engine I can. That said, even though I didn't feel fast this year, I still felt better than I did during the run last year. I was hating it last year. But looking at the race report, I help a quick pace. I don't know how. All three legs of this race felt better than last year, and all three were slower. Ok, not true. The rides were almost identical. But again, I felt better this year. I felt faster. My perceived exertion was all screwy.
Mentally, six miles is so so much easier than it was. That felt like a really long run last year, and this year every run I do is longer than six. So that wasn't so bad. I hurt in the middle, mile two and a half to four. But I knew that after three miles its all downhill, its nearly done. I managed to get the pace back down for the last two miles, which makes me happy and I wish I could have held that longer or done it earlier. The run course, as you can see, was really funky. Lots and lots of turns, two U-turns that were basically in the middle of the course. That's where my pace drops way down in the middle, I was asking a volunteer to be sure I was going to right way. Race director fail. We were supposed to have Ka'a'ako Park too, which would have stretched the course. But there was some kind of charity run over there this morning because no one can read a permit. Anyway, small kine complaint really because considering how massive the Honolulu Triathlon is, excuse me, the Honolulu Triathlon International Festival of Sports is, there were no major problems. We started on time. All the volunteers were great. Aid stations were plentiful. The courses were well-marked.

 I passed the five mile marker, after getting passed by literally half the field, and put my head down. I was feeling the head cold in my neck and the pit of my stomach, but with only a mile and some left I had to fight through it. We ran by the transition area and into Magic Island, which is what that park at the bottom of the run map is called, which you would know if you could read the map. In transition they were blasting music. What should come on as I run by? "Shook Me (All Night Long)" by the mighty AC/DC! Hell yeah. So I did the only thing any rational person in my situation would do. I run-SOSMSed. A SOSMS, for those of you not one of the three people in on this joke, stands for Sudden Onset Slayer Moment Syndrome. This is an affliction suffered by heavy metal and rock fans across my house in which any time you hear an awesome riff (usually Slayer, but not always) you must headbang and air-instrument. You might not even hear the riff, it might just randomly pop into your head. So yes, after swimming nearly a mile, biking 25 miles, and running five miles, I ran, sang, head banged, and air-guitared a good twenty yards. That's right. This should be fun. And SOSMS are fun. Try it some time.
When you head into the park you think, "I'm almost done! Yay!" And you're right, but not really. You still have about a mile to go. That's not almost done! That's about half a mile of, "I'm almost done!" Followed by a quarter mile of, "What the hell? Where is the damn finish line?" And then another quarter mile of, "There it is! I can see it from here! Why won't it come closer?"
And across the line.

Ga! I can see the finish! Come to me!

In closing, I'm getting over my time. Yeah, I was seven minutes slower than last year. But there are a lot of reasons for that, and they are good reasons, so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. I took the few hours I thought I deserved to be annoyed by it, but now it's over and I'm past it. Time to taper and focus on the Honu.
I would like to thank, as always, Super Awesome Wife for being there to cheer me on. I know it's not easy getting up so early to watch a race. And all the Dirtbag Friends on island and mainland who I know where cheering me one from their homes. I may not have raced like it, but I felt the love. Congrats to Diesel, who also competed. Kepa too, I think. Kepa, you were there, weren't you? And I need to thank my kick ass sponsor, Background Profiles. If you're in the business of hiring people for your business, or you need to run a background check for whatever reason, please click on the link and check them out. They always show the Dirtbag love.
Here's a few more pictures of me. Why? Because I'm a total narcissist.

Grrrr

Shoot The Moon!

Don't get this? Go here- http://pages.lightthenight.org/sf/EastBay12/DiannaMoran

*If you get this reference then you are streets ahead and can study with me any time!

Second Annual Dirtbag Fitness Guess My Time 50/50 Challenge!

Dirtbag Friends! I come to you with a special contest offer, which is almost a direct repeat of last year's special contest offer.

As you know, the Honolulu Triathlon is coming up and your favorite Dirtbag will competing in the Olympic distance event, my second time at this distance, the first time being last year's event! And if I've learned anything from Grantland.com's Sports Guy its that if something is fun to watch, its way more fun to gamble on. So as a Special Event Fundraiser Extravaganza Dirtbag Fitness proudly presents the 50/50 Guess My Time Challenge!

Here's the scoop:

-For every $5 sent in to Dirtbag Fitness using the PayPal link to the side, beneath the sponsor, Twitter, and followers widgets, you can have one guess at my overall finish time of the Honolulu Olympic Distance Triathlon in 15 second increments. The person closest to my actual time will be sent 50% of the total Dirtbag donations, with the other 50% going towards the care, feeding, upkeep, and competing of Dirtbag Fitness. (If this does well I'm using the money towards bigger and more expensive races, a cadence sensor for the bike, or new tri duds. If it doesn't I could always use more tire tubes.)

-For $25 you can have six guesses. That's one free guess, allowing you to block off a whole minute and a half for only $25.

-You must put your prediction in the comments below on this blog so everyone else can see and we don't get any doubles. Also, please send your predictions with the paypal payment so I have all your information in one place should you win.

-Rather than spoon feed you what I think my time will be, you've gotta use your noggin. I'll tell you it should be slower than two hours but faster than three.

-Remember, you must guess in 15 second increments. Please use a hours:minutes:seconds format for your prediction with along the lines of, "My prediction is a total overall time of 2:03:15. Dirtbag is a rock star of epic proportions!" or "I think Dirtbag will destroy the field with a final time of 1:56:30. I also think his awesomeness will cause any pregnant women he passes to spontaneously give birth, and any fertile but not pregnant women to suddenly become pregnant."

-To sweeten the pot, if you manage to guess my exact time to the second I'll send you 75% of the donations rather than 50%.

-This Fundraising Contest begins today and ends the night of May 19th, which is the day before the race.

If this goes well and there is lots of participation then the pot will be nice and healthy and you'll be able to buy that tank of gas you've always wanted. If it doesn't go well and only two people participate...well then I'll send thank you emails to Dirtbag Parents and Dirtbag Best Friend, give someone their ten bucks, and pretend this never happened.

The relevant information once more is :
$5 = one guess

$25= six guesses
Guess in 15 second intervals

Post guess(es) in the comments below.

Thank you for playing, donating, and reading and good luck to everyone!

Dirtbag Powered Travel (plus MEGA Links and Shilling for Louis CK)

Run/Swim Day
Run time- 45:18
distance- 4.91mi
Swim-
1 x 500 yds
8 x 25 dolphin kick (1 breath or less)
1 x 50 dolphin kick (underwater)

Yesterday was my first day off of school for Winter Break. (It's not Christmas break because there are actually people in this country who celebrate something other than Christmas, and its not Holiday Break because often those other holidays don't fall during the so-called Holiday Break. Living in Hawaii even calling it Winter Break is a stretch. Where was I?) As I've stated before in this space, having time off from work is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to working out. On one hand, I'm completely free to work out any time I'd like. On the other I have no set times when I must work out. Too much freedom! My training plan is based around get up before school/train again after school timing. To be able to just wake up whenever or go run whenever is troubling. Too much opportunity for "I can play another 30 minutes of Uncharted 3, then I'll head out." But I've started out strongly this time.
As I've gained endurance and confidence I've been trying to do more and more things Dirtbag-powered. If something is close enough to ride the bike to, I will try  to do that. And now the gym is close enough to run to. Actually, its just as close as its always been, but that distance doesn't seem nearly so far anymore. So with a coaching session with Dirtbag the Grey planned for 2:30, I set out at 1 for the gym. I wore my zoomers under my running shorts, tucked my goggles and cap into the trunks, strapped on my heart rate monitor and Garmin, threw on my glasses and visor, tried not to think about how non-minimal I was being with all this crap, and set out. No water because Google Maps told me it would be just over five miles and that's not too bad and because Super Awesome Wife might have gotten me something to help for Christmas.
It was a decent enough run. According to the fanciness I averaged a 9:07 pace, which isn't too bad since I wasn't pumping at all. Not that there will be much pumping in the near future from my runs. I'm looking for strength still, not speed. Speed is so much less important to me right now.

And when I got to the pool the Grey hadn't arrived yet so, in an act of extreme trusting, I gathered all my stuff on a kickboard, put the kickboard on a chair, and put the chair right next to the lane I was swimming in so that I could see in on nearly every breath while I swam. Then I cruised a nice and easy 500 to stretch the muscles out. My core has been feeling a little weak in the water and that's the reason for the dolphin kick repeats. Nothing strengthens the core like a good dolphin kick set. And the anaerobic additions? Why not? It's only 25 yards (enter Sean laughing and arguing with me that its shorter) and that's an easy underwater to make. Hence the double at the end.

Race Update: In other Dirtbag-related news the Honolulu Triathlon is open for early resident registration. Since this will be the big tune-up race before the Honu I got in early. As of right now it's the only triathlon on my plate for the year aside from the Honu and I'm really looking forward to seeing my time drop since I'll be prepared for a much longer race and this should be shorter than many of my training sessions.

 Completely Unrelated to Fitness Thing: Louis CK is hilarious. If you don't already know that you need to find it out right now this minute. Warning: SOOOOO NSFW.




If you did laugh your ass off at these (the story 2:00 into the second one is one of my favorite things ever) then you should support the man. And here is how-go to this website and buy his special, Live from the Beacon Theater. It's $5. So even if you hate it you only spent five bucks. He's being completely upfront and honest about where the money is going and how he's going to use it. He made it, literally, the easiest thing on the internet to steal. But why would you do that? Buy one. Buy one for a friend. You can! You can gift this thing for $5 from his website. And you can burn it to a DVD. You can, like I'm going to do, download it and move the file onto a different device, my Nook Color, to watch it on a plane. If enough people support him he'll keep doing stuff like this. Grantland.com has a great interview with him (BS Report links, 2 parts, you can't miss it). Ok, I'm done now. But seriously, Louis CK.

Honolulu Olympic Tri Race Report

**Warning: Long Race = Long Race Report. If you want to read a short report on my race you haven't been paying attention to my blatant disregard for word count.**

Honolulu Olympic Tri
Swim 1500yds- 23:15 (Pace-1:33/100yd)
T1- 2:10
Bike 25mi- 1:12:04 (Pace- 20.8mph)
T2- 1:51
Run 6.1mi- 52:02 (Pace- 8:24/mi)
Total time- 2:31:21

The day started like any other race day. Early. Way early. 3:15am early. Even the roosters near our house were like, "Hey man, it's freaking early. Go back to bed." Prerace prep was done the night before, because I'm a responsible Dirtbag. So all we had to do was hit the head, grab some Cliff Bars and a banana, throw my bag and my new foot washing basin (aka Rubbermade bin) in to the truck and we were off.
Saturday at check-in I had also bought a parking pass for ten bucks, which guaranteed me a parking spot in Magic Island's lot. I figured this was worth the money because the last thing I wanted to do at 4am was drive around looking for somewhere to park. And I knew the last thing I'd want to do before I left was walk however far back to that parking spot. So parking was easy. One less aggravation.
This morning was not only an Olympic distance triathlon, oh no! That is too small and simple. This was the Honolulu Festival of Sport. It featured both an Olympic and Sprint distance Tri, a 5k and 10k run, a Youth tri, a Sprint Dualthon (2.5k run/20k bike/5k run), AND a 3.8k open water swim (which happens to be the distance of an Ironman Triathlon swim). There were 1200 people on the start list. 705 of those people were with me, doing the Oly. That is a lot of people wandering around a beach park in the pre-dawn trying to get loose and find an open Port-a-Potty. *Side note: Would it be so hard to equip those things with a small light? We can't do that, Port-a-Potty People?* My race and the two foot races were scheduled to begin at 6am. Off with the sunrise. I assume our races start so early because it gets hot quickly here and we don't want to be out in the midday sun. Also because we were using a main road for the bike course and Hawaii drivers do not take kindly to someone using their traffic area. And by traffic area I mean the place where they plan on stopping for no reason and causing massive traffic.
Because of the size of the start list, the swim went off in waves broken by gender and age group. My group, men age 35 and under, when first. Suits me right down to the ground. I'm jittery enough before a start. I don't want to watch others go first. Plus, that's less people to swim around (because I'm the Tattooed Wake, remember?). So I was in the start corral first with probably 120 other guys or so. I positioned myself behind the obvious fast starters but ahead of the nervous-looking fellas. They trust us to self-seed in these mass starts so you look around and try to gauge who will be swimming over you and who you'll be swimming over and place yourself accordingly. I'm fast in the water, but not elite fast. I'm in the front of the first chase group. Easy to find.
Countdown over the loudspeaker. "Ninety seconds, gentlemen!" Jitter. Wave arms. "Sixty seconds!" Jitter. Flex toes. Roll shoulders. "Thirty seconds!" One last jitter. Shake the magic to the tips of my fingers. Press goggles into eye sockets one last time. Dig toes in to sand for the run to the water...
BOOM!
No one told me we were using a mini-cannon today. We've never used a cannon before. It's always been a BEEEP or some dude going, "Go!" So I might have been startled and said, "Shit!" And we were off! An auspiciously Dirtbag start.
I seeded myself well and the mass start mosh pit broke up pretty quickly. The biggest early decision is how far do I high step in to the water before diving and swimming. Too far and you slow yourself down. Too early and you get stepped on by the guys going too far. Bodies bump, feet kick, hands thrash, and then I'm in the clear. As expected the elites are off, never to be seen again expect as they pass me on turn-arounds later. And I'm holding a strong position and my stroke feels great. Smooth, quick, long. Every few yards I poke my head up to check my direction using the big yellow guide buoys. I also pick some feet in front of me to follow. Hope he's not lost. The swim is the only place during a triathlon I make regular passes. It's the only place I get to feel stronger than the other racers. And I feel strong. The feet in front of me seem to be maintaining a decent pace so I decide to hang with them. As the swim progresses I sometimes pull even with the owner of the feet and sometimes am right on his six. We make the 750yd turn and head back to shore.
At this point there are other waves heading the direction I just came from so I made a note to stay well to my side of the buoys. I don't know if I drifted too far in or if someone was way outside where they should have been but I went head on with someone. Clonk! We both only stopped for a moment and then were back to it. A preview of what was to come.
Around this time I decide to get some draft going. It's illegal on the bike but easy to do in the water, especially with this guy so close. So I latch on and let him do the pulling, swimming in his wake and feeling clever. Haha, I think, sucks to be you. Thanks! And I feel smug for a while, until fingertips brush my toes. What the hell! Some jerk is drafting off me?
We make landfall around the same time and jog/run to the transition area. My bike is near the bike exit side, which means I have a longer run to the bike, but then a short run from my bike to the mount line. Using my new wash basin, which Sexy Wife had filled with water earlier, I dip my feet and pull on my shoes and helmet. Not the fastest T1, but not awful. It needs work.
I felt good getting out on the bike. I had left it in the correct gear when I put it up so I was able to get on and get a good cadence going right away. I also immediately noticed a problem. You see, dear reader, we were all given numbers to put on our bikes. Most people, myself included, stuck this flag-like sticker around the top bar of the frame, which connects the seat post to the front-end. I didn't think too much about whether to stick the numbers close to the seat or closer to the bars and it ended up more to the former. Lesson learned. Next time I'll put that damned thing as far forward as I can get it. Why? Because when the wind catches it, and it does if the bike is moving, it makes that number flag wave. And that number flag is juuuuust long enough to touch the inside of my thigh. So every single pedal stroke than damn thing scratched against my left inner thigh. Not enough to hurt hurt or even make a mark, but enough to annoying hurt. And bending, creasing, or crunching it didn't help in the least. For 3/4 of the ride it was amazingly annoying.
Like I said, and I've said this before in other race reports, coming out of the water early, and I was 42nd out of the water out of all 706 finishers, only means that I get to watch the stronger cyclists and then runners pass me for the rest of the race. But for maybe five minutes I didn't see but one or two other people. The road was mine. Then one dude would flash by, then nothing but quite road, then another would come zipping by. Kind of cool. I bared down and got to work. Because here, unlike the water, I have to focus to make the Go Fast go. And focusing was getting difficult with that damned scrape scrape scrape on my thigh.
The course was mostly flat with a few very shallow climbs and descents. Nothing too painful or slowing. I was mentally ready. For almost all of it. I knew the basic layout of the course and I'd even ridden it that Monday. But I had never gone out the short out-and-back they had to add to get the distance up to 40k. And that screwed up my head. At the turn around right outside the Arizona Memorial I was still feeling strong. I even made my only attack of the ride, passing a guy while climbing. I felt pretty badass when I did that and it got me through a couple of miles. I started thinking too far ahead. And then we turned on to Lagoon Drive and I mentally wiped out. For some reason it felt much longer than the five miles or so it probably was. I mean, it was flat, it was straight, ninety degree right turn, straight, U-turn, and back but I had such a hard time keeping my pace up. It's parts like that which are why I don't race with my bike computer. Because as good as it would feel to see those numbers hanging in the 20s it would be incredibly demoralizing to see them drop in to the mid-teens. And I know I was in there for two or three miles. I was fighting it. But I knew that as soon as I made the right back on to Nimitz and the main road I'd be fine because the end really would be in sight.
Not quite.
I spent the whole ride down on my aerobars, proper racing position. This puts me far away from my brakes. That's ok because in a race why would you need to brake? Well, one reason you should brake is because you're coming up to a sharp right and you might be going a leeeettle bit too fast. You might do that. If you were bright. I did not. I stayed down on my aerobars, leaned in to that right, felt really good about how well I'd managed the corner, noticed I had taken it too far without straightening back out, had not enough control down on the aerobars, clipped one of the cones lining the course with me right pedal, had time to look up and see the next cone right in front of me and think, "Awww fuck," then I hit it full on, which shot the bike to the right directly in to the curb. The bike stopped but, thanks to Sir Newton, I did not, flying off to the side, landing and partially rolling on my back. To my credit, and I do like to give myself credit, I got right back up and right back to the bike. My biggest concern at that point was not, "I hope I'm not hurt!" It was, "I hope my bike isn't hurt!" Because I can finish the race with scrapes and bruises. I was five or six miles from the transition area. I can't finish the race with a flat or a bent or broken bike. Quick check, tires inflated, everything spins true, water bottle cages slightly ganked, one aerobar slightly lower, good enough. And (I swear I did this) with a barbarian bellow I was back on the bike and cranking. I honestly think the crash helped me finish the ride. Nothing says Adrenaline Rush like a high-speed crash.
I knew I was scraped and muddy but had no idea how bad. I'd been getting passed for over an hour now by individuals and groups and that didn't change at the end, but I did feel focused again. It was time for my least favorite leg. The run.
I trotted in to the transition area and had a slow slow T2. Sexy Wife called to me asking if I was ok and I nodded that I was fine and blew her a kiss. But I was a little shaky. Fatigue and a crash, you know how it is. And I'm sure she was worried. I ride away fine and ride back muddy and scraped. This race also marks the last time I go without a race top. Had I been wearing a top the damage would have been much less. Obi Tri Kenobi was there watching some of the racers he's coaching for the Honu Half Ironman compete and talked to me about my race afterwards. One of the things he said was, "Yeah, saw you got pretty scratched up. You weren't wearing a top, were you?" It was said in a gentle, conversational way but I know coaches. He really said, "You should have worn a top, dope. Don't do it again." I speak Coach, I get it. And I will from now on. Dirtbag likes racing without and it is more comfortable, but protecting my fragile (sexy) skin is more important. (Even though scars are cool.)
Here's the thing with the run: I have had some good runs over the last 18 weeks. But none of them were what actual runners would consider "Fast". I did. But I'm still not a runner runner. I'm learning. And my training was seriously lacking in brick workouts. I should have been bike/run-ing once a week for nearly all of it and I didn't and I totally felt that during the six miles on my feet. And if that wasn't enough, I was running in my VFF TrekSports after deciding that the hole in my KSOs was just too much and it wasn't going to work to tape them. Let's just say I could have been more prepared than I was.
I felt slow. I kept thinking, Ok I need to pick it up, come one lets get that cadence going but it never really got there. A lot of that is that I don't run six miles fast on a regular basis yet. So there was fear and caution and a mental block to really reaching deep. I did my best. But I never really ran for it. On the run course they put out mile markers. So you run for a while and then you pass a sign, "1 Mi". These are both good and bad. It helps you pace yourself and know how far you have, hard hard you should be pushing, when to stop conserving and just go. But, for me at least, it also meant that I'd pass the one mile marker, run for what felt to me like a while and I'd start to think, "I'm sure I've gone another mile. Maybe they aren't putting those out every mile. Maybe it's like one, three, and five. Because I'm sure I've gone at least two miles now." And then I would pass the two mile marker. "Damn." Messes with your head. I promised myself I'd push after three, but I couldn't find it. I did have the energy to crack a joke with one of the volunteers. To motivate (?) us there was a DJ at about the halfway point spinning 80s and 90s hit. And I called out, "Hey, we need some SLAYER!!!" The volunteer nodded and smiled and pointed the direction I was supposed to run. I don't think she understood. But if I ever organize a race there will be metal all over the place. Slayer makes for fast running.
I promised myself with one mile left I'd push. Really push. And...I had a hard time finding anything to push with. I did manage to break through the last 100 yards and sprint-ish to the finish, passing three people staggering in but getting passed by a little girl, maybe ten or eleven years old who was finishing her youth tri. Yeah, a small child beat me to the finish. So I gave her three pages of homework and detention. No, she's not in my class. But teachers have that kind of power. Don't tell anyone I told.
Overall, I'm very happy with my performance. I think its obvious the race didn't go exactly to plan, but I can't complain. I told Sexy Wife a few days prior that I would be happy with anything around 2:30, shocked if it was faster, and bummed if it was slower. I hit the nail right on the head. I also correctly predicted my swim and bike pace pretty well. How can I complain about averaging nearly 21mph over a 25 mile ride, especially knowing I crashed both mentally and physically during it and knowing I was conserving for the run? My run, as Obi Tri would tell me later in Coach-speak, "needs work." But I know that and it gives me something to focus on. I need to go out and find run drills and workouts tailored to speed over distance. I'll get it.
One last funny thing about the race: Half of Japan was there. There was a massive Japanese contingent. Which meant that they needed a translator. This woman, this tiny little Japanese woman, had the most stereotypical Japanese voice AND the most stereotypical Japanese-to-Engrish accent you have ever heard. Like, if you put someone who sounded exactly like her on a TV show you would get massive amounts of "I'm so offended by this offensive display of offending offense!" letters. She was awesome.
Anyway, I'm taking this week off completely. No running, no bike, no swim. I'll start planning my future races in a few days. There are no local Olympic distances coming up that I can find so it'll be Sprints and I think I'm going to do some open water swim races. I should find run-only and ride-only races too. That would help.
Your friendly, long-winded Dirtbag is proud of himself and I'm ready to find more challenges. I would also like to thank everyone who participated in the 50/50 Contest and everyone who helped and encouraged me during my training. Team Dirtbag Rocks!

THE DIRTBAG FITNESS 50/50 GUESS MY TIME CHALLENGE AWARD BLOG SHOW THING!!!!

And now, the blog seven of you have been waiting for...THE DIRTBAG FITNESS 50/50 GUESS MY TIME CHALLENGE AWARD BLOG SHOW THING!!!!
First of all, my actual time according to pseresults.com is 2:31:21.
Now, let's take a look at the closest guesses each player made and its difference from the actual time. We aren't Price Is Right-ing this thing so there will be no "closest without going over" nonsense. The winner will be the person who is purely closest to the actual time.

Closest Guesses +/- actual time
Andrew- 2:19:00...-12min 21sec
Mike- 2:35:30...+4min 9sec
Dad- 2:27:30...-3min 51 sec
Matt- 2:35:15...+3min 54sec
Summer- 2:34:15...+2min 54sec
Pharris- 2:33:15...+1min 54sec

And the winner of the First Ever Dirtbag Fitness 50/50 Guess My Time Contest And Fundraiser is...
Amelia- 2:32:15...+54sec

Amelia, I will contact you via email to set up all the stuff and things. Much thanks to everyone who played for your donations and for supporting Dirtbag Fitness!

Honolulu Tri Prerace Photo Blog Extravaganza!!!

Race Time: T-minus a coupla hours or so
Rather than do a pre-race packet pick-up-hyphen-filled write-up I thought that I would share the pictures that came out of this morning's preparation activities. So that's what you get instead. So there.

The morning's first activity was inspired by high school swimming and helping me get my head on right.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzz!

I have sexy legs. I can't not say that.

Once at Magic Island I had to wait in line to get my packet. My line is the slowest line. I choose not to see this as an omen.

Kratos ready for blood. *kiss* Have a good night!

Nifty neato at this race, we got stamped instead of Sharpied. Body marking took place today to speed up tomorrow. Good call. True story: When she was stamping me she asked if I wanted the stamp on the tattoo or below. I told her, "Below. If no one can see the tattoo how will them know I'm a tough guy?" She laughed at me. Why do they always laugh?

A nice, neat stamp on my freshly shorn calf...

Which I immediately smear with my shorts.

Dirtbag 77. I saw a woman who got 666. I want 666! That would be the most metal race ever!

I bought a new hat for the race. Then I tried taking a picture of it and walking at the same time.

The most reliable pre-race dinner: tofu tacos. Light, full of protein, and super healthy. My stomach is always happy in the early morning with these.

Yay for Super Sexy Wife!

What they gave me (minus the hat)

So tomorrow morning at 6:03am I'll be the guy with the bright orange swim cap...in the middle of all the other bright orange swim caps.

So that's it. Time to hit the sack, I've got an early morning ahead. I'm ready. I'm strong. Let's get some.